Lost...

...Lost in your heart, lost in your eyes

Lost every day, no map to follow

Entire days, weeks, a blur

Flickers of light, in the darkness,

Only to be enveloped in shadows once more...

~Peter Winstanley

I've never felt unrequited affection/lust. Well not until now. I've heard many a story from friends and acquaintances, of relationships forming from the basis of friendships that turned romantic; best friends finally realising they were meant to be together.

I have never looked at my friends that way... Until I met you.

You light up my night. Fill my dreams with your passion. Make my days seem endless with laughter. I know that you see the look in my eyes when I glance at you. You hear my voice skip and stutter when I talk to you. Feel my body close to yours as we sit and laugh about the day. I also know that what I feel for you will never be returned to me.

You've walked a different path recently and our paths haven't crossed for sometime. I haven't stopped thinking about you though. Still laying under the stars at night smiling to myself as I remember funny things you said to me. Waking in the morning with you on my mind. I miss you.

I sit and cuddle my teddy bear wishing it were you I was cuddling. I once told you how I felt and laughed it off as a silly joke, hiding my insecurities behind my humour once more. I have you in my life as a friend and I curl up at night; snuggled up with my teddy bear knowing that our friendship means the world to me. Do I want more than our friendship? Yes. I want you.

I will go to sleep tonight dreaming and wishing on the stars that one day our friendship would cross those boundaries. Dreams do come true....right?

Ask me why I keep on wanting you when it's clear that you don't feel the same way for me... the problem is that as much as I can't force you to want me, I can't force myself to stop wanting you. ~Author Unknown