Thursday, June 17, 2010

BBBC 2010 - Day 5

Today's Topic - Blogger's choice! Write about anything that's on your mind!

Well this is definitely going to step on some toes.....but like the topic says...anything that's on my mind, and this has been on my mind a lot lately.

I have been seeing a lot of talk around the traps of late in regards to relationships, both SL and RL. Do you mix the two? Are you and your RL partner both in SL? Are you partnered to each other or have an open relationship? Does your RL partner know you play SL? Do they know you have an SL partner. so on and so forth.

I'm going to sound hypocritical here, and it is only because I have been in the situation that I am about to talk about and seen the hurt it causes which is why I now do not like it. But each to their own, we all have our reasons for what we do and I am not about to judge someone for why they do it, I just personally would not.

Married people in RL who have relationships with other people in SL. Is it because you have a very open relationship in RL and this is seen as exploring/swinging? Is it because you can't get from your RL partner what you can from an SL one? Do you not see it as cheating on your wife/husband?

Each way you put it doesn't sound all that happy/inviting to me. And it was only after having two, well actually three but I'll get back to that one, failed relationships in SL that my eyes were opened to this. I just thought of SL as a game. We're just pixels having fun running around a grid. What's the harm in it? My last two previous BF's in SL were both married in RL. One hid his activities in game from his partner, the other hid various activities but the partner did know he was playing SL.

Technically.....I was the mistress. There is no other way of describing it. People have often argued it with me that it's just a game you technically did not have an affair with a married man. But can most people honestly say that their emotions are that shut off that they don't feel any sort of connection to the person they are dating in SL? There really is no other way to look at it other than the married one is cheating on their partner, I guess unless it is an open relationship and both parties know about the other partner in SL/RL.

Then you get ones like my technical third failed relationship. It was one that started on lies. He was seperated from his wife. I didn't feel guilty being flirty with him. Our relationship ended up going RL. I guess maybe the wife wasn't happy that he moved out of home to move in with me. Yeah I felt every emotion under the sun of guilt. However our relationship was based on the lies he was telling of being seperated when in fact he wasn't.

I guess I'm going to cop some backlash over this. I know quite a few people in world who are married in RL and have different partners in SL. I generally mind my own business and let them do their thing, notice I said 'generally'. Call me two faced, call me a hypocrite, what ever you like. I'm just like a reformed smoker/alcoholic at a party bitching to all the drinkers/smokers how it's bad for them etc etc. But it's only because I have been there, I don't like what I did, and I don't want my friends to get into the same situations I did or give up their normal RL moral values for the sake of companionship.

Bring on the comments.......

1 comment:

  1. You know what, I had been thinking about this myself of late. I am one that can't separate my RL from my SL life. As much as I would love to try to. But those that I do come across already in relationship and seeking other do make me stop and go "wait whats wrong and whats going on". And that is just because I know if I saw that in RL happening with a friend I would be freaking out. But for some odd reason...the internet provides a new set of rules. Interesting how that works.